Hey, America! The G-Man is going to let you in on little secret. Come closer and I'll tell you what it is. Okay, you ready? The major cable and network cult news outlets, as well as the major cult news publications, think you're a bunch of idiots. That may come as a surprise to some, but I think the majority of you know exactly what I mean. How else would you explain all the asinine news stories that are flooding the television and radio airwaves and newspapers?
Folks, it's really, really bad! It's the kind of bad you feel when you have a heavy lunch and throw up, just a tad, in your mouth afterward. What? Don't look at me like that because we've all done it at least once. Act like you know. Now, where was I? Oh, that's right. It's a sad situation, and the worst part is things are likely to get even worse. If you'd like me to give you some examples of the lunacy to illustrate my point, I'd be delighted. Pull up a chair, grab a beer and get ready because “Mount G-Man” is about to blow.
President Obama Bows to Japanese Emperor
I can't believe how the Kool-Aid serving media and dimwit politicians in Washington, D.C. are making such a big deal about this. What President Obama did is considered a gesture of respect in Asian culture. Foreign leaders have shaken hands with U.S. presidents for centuries while visiting the White House, so what the hell is the damn problem? Politicians and pundits probably would've had a heart attack if he gave a high-five to Japanese Emperor Akihito. What a bunch of jackasses! The backlash against the president is a clear indication that political leaders in this country would rather be disrespectful toward foreign leaders than acknowledge sacred and traditional customs. That is inexcusable, particularly for the United States, because this is the country that most of the world looks up to, and everyone that is complaining about President Obama's gesture should be deeply ashamed.
The only reason the old farts in Congress and the Senate are bitching, especially in the Republican Party, is because they hold fast to the ridiculous notion that America is superior and bows to no one. Let me tell you something. With China and other Asian countries absorbing most of our debt, all of the hoopla over President Obama's gesture is a moot point. Never mind the bowing. The fact is we should be kissing their ass.... in gratitude! Hey, Mr. President? Next time, channel your “inner-brotha” and give foreign leaders a fist bump! That should really piss your critics off.
If I had a choice between slamming a car door on my balls and watching all the stupid coverage of Sarah Palin and her book tour, I'd opt for the car door. Go away, Sarah! A good number of Americans are continuing to prove that stupidity has no boundaries by actually lauding and supporting a woman that would be better served managing a damn Walmart. Still, the media fawns over Palin like a modern-day Jackie-O. Allow me to take a page out of the late Senator Lloyd Bentsen's book. Sarah Palin, I knew Jackie-O. Sarah, you're no Jackie-O! If people thought eight years of President George W.. Bush was bad, imagine how much worse things would be with Sarah Palin as Commander-in-Briefs. I have just one thing to say to every one of her fans and supporters. Stop drinking the Kool-Aid that Palin is serving!
Republicans and the Mid-Term Elections
The cult-news media is reporting that Republicans are gaining a stronghold on the country because of resistance to President Obama's health care plan and his foreign policy positions. Recent gubernatorial victories in New Jersey and Virginia have given members of the GOP a great deal of hope and momentum heading into the mid-term elections. That's all cool, but here's what I don't understand. Why do the voters expect a man who's barely been in office one year to immediately undo eight years of destruction brought about by the Bush administration? That's just not logical or realistic.
If the Bush administration was largely responsible for giving Wall Street tycoons, major banks and housing lenders a free pass to completely jack this country up during its two terms, why would voters be stupid enough to place Republicans in a position to regain control of the country? Why are people so willing to defend and justify eight years of Kool-Aid cover-ups, economic ruin, lies and war, but they're ready to toss President Obama out on his ear before he completes his first full term. And I'm not supposed to think it's a “black thing”? Yeah, okay. You political neophytes go ahead and put Palin, Romney or, God forbid, that fool Giuliani in the Oval Office, if you want to. Don't wait for me to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on you after you drink the Kool-Aid. You'll be a bunch of waitin' asses.
Bullsh*t News Stories (Celebrity Takes Off His Shirt)
I saw a news story on the Internet this week that absolutely made no sense. The entire piece was based on the whether or not Talyor Lautner, star of the “Twilght” vampire films, would take off his shirt in future films. Did you catch that? I'd love to meet the damn genius that thought Lautner's scrawny chest was worthy of a national debate so I could slap them upside the head with a putrid pig's foot. This is why America ranks almost dead last when it comes to countries that excel in education. We're too caught up on wanting to see someone's nipples. Meanwhile, U.S. soldiers are being blown to bits by incendiary explosive devices (I.E.D) and taking bullets to the back of the head in Iraq and Afghanistan. This is media poisoning at its worst, and America is chugging it down with reckless abandon.
“Precious”…. Not So Much
The G-Man is hearing a great deal of buzz, courtesy of the national, cult media, yet again, about the movie “Precious”, which is an Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry production. I haven't seen the film, but the critical acclaim leads you to believe that it will garner nods for “Best Picture”, “Best Supporting Actress (Mo'Nique) and “Best Director” (Lee Daniels). Winning the honors would be a monumental achievement for Winfrey, Perry and black cinema, but it would definitely come at the expense of black men.
I've read the film's synopsis and have come to understand why Winfrey was so passionate about developing the project. Winfrey's involvement with the film gave her an opportunity to mix up her own potent batch of Kool-Aid. If you look at most of the film projects she aligned herself with, the image of the black man has been portrayed as cruel, incestuous, manipulative, nasty, violent and vicious toward the black woman. Precious, in hideously graphic and violent fashion, provides Winfrey with a vehicle to carry on her tradition of promoting black women as innocent victims, castrating black men, and providing white America with invalid reasons to fear him.
Speaking of castrating black men, what the hell is Diane Sawyer's problem? First it was the infamous Robin Given and Mike Tyson interview. Then, it was Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Most recently, she slithered her way into an interview with Rihanna to discuss the beatdown the songbird took from ex-boyfriend “Fist” Brown. Oops! I mean...Chris Brown. All of the interviews had one thing in common: they made the men look like total buffoons. I don't know if it's Sawyer solely or her producers, but it is very clear that she is fast becoming the scourge of black men in America. I know quite a few “sistahs” that aren't too happy with her, either. You can't help but wonder who else is on Sawyer's hit list. It's getting to the point where she'll even trap poor Sasha and Malia Obama and ask them, “Did your father ever curse at or hit you while running around in the Oval Office?” What...the.... hell? Black men of America, be afraid. Be very afraid! If you see Sawyer and a camera crew headed your way, you'd better haul ass like you stole something. It's all about the Kool-Aid, and its called “Dewberry Diane”!
“Slick Rick” Lazio Returns
If New York Republican gubernatorial candidate Rick Lazio could be given a flavor in the popular Kool-Aid franchise, it would be “Slick Rick Raspberry”. The media circus was crazy enough, and now another clown enters the tent with a 5-gallon water gun filled with Kool-Aid and drama. Go away, Rick! No one is going to take you seriously. Don't you get it? You're like an old pair of boots with toes sticking out the front. You're that old pair of ripped boxers that wives beg their husbands to throw out. You're the last two pieces of toilet paper on the roll after a “three-pounder”. Nobody wants you. You were tossed aside like a dirty dishrag years ago after Hillary Clinton laid the smackdown on you in the Senator's race. Do you really think you and the cult-leader media will be able to hypnotize New York voters with a bunch of new campaign promises and revamped speeches? Your ship will sink the moment Katie Couric starts asking the hard questions. How am I so sure? Well, you'll probably get up from your chair and get in her face, too! Isn't that right, Slick? Listen to The G-Man and save yourself the embarrassment. Dude, your name is Lazio, not Lazarus.
Author: Alan Light
Author: Sarah_Palin_at_Chambliss_rally.jpg: Bruce Tuten from Savannah, Georgia, United States
derivative work: Maximus0970 (talk)